As the roles of husband and wife have evolved in society over the past ten years, so have the responsibilities and the obligations in divorce matters. With the divorce rate still hovering at 51%, these societal changes often have new and confusing impact on the parties involved in divorce.
One of the primary issues gaining attention are the increasing number of cases in which men, or the husband, are the ones who are receiving alimony or support from their wife. Too many, this is a staggering change and many woman are offended by the concept. Should they be?
Although alimony laws vary on a state to state basis, the basic premise of alimony remains the same: to wit, one party paying to the other an amount of money known as alimony or support to assist them in maintaining a lifestyle which is at least somewhat similar to the lifestyle that they maintain during the marriage. Obviously, historically, that meant husband paying monies to wives for support anywhere from a few years on a short term basis to the rest of their lives. While there is no doubt that this practice continues, the direction of the flow of money occasionally changes, and that is what is attracting attention and at times outrage.
States, including New Jersey and Pennsylvania, are prohibited against gender discrimination with regard to alimony. However, the issue has flown under the radar for years. Now, it is finally coming out. As we look at the number of woman successful in business, attending law school and medical school, or going to Wall Street, it is no longer unusual for the wife in a relationship to earn significantly more than the husband. Roles with regard to children have changed as well. Is this fair?
Fairness seems to have been raised lately only in the context of men receiving alimony. At times, we hear the question, "why should a man live off of his wife's income". However, for the last fifty years, the reverse has been true. Efforts to show the inequities of such a system have gone pretty much unnoticed. Woman have continued to receive alimony on a regular basis.
It is important to understand why in order to understand that men receiving alimony is not a departure from our law or the norm.
Generally speaking, alimony is based upon the actual need and ability of the parties to pay along with numerous other factors which could include the duration of the marriage, the age and the physical and emotional health of the parties, and importantly, the standard of living established in the marriage and the likelihood that each party can maintain a reasonably comparable standard of living. The Court also looks at the earning capacity of the parties, their educational levels, and their potential employability.
An interesting factor is the length of time that one party has been absence from the job market which could be due to parental responsibilities such as who is caring for the children or who has given up a career in order to promote the career of another.
The issue of husband's receiving alimony and "living" off the income of their wives is often seen in the context of celebrities and well known personalities. This ranges from Britney Spears' former husband, Kevin Federline, to television personality, Joan Lunden, who initially was ordered to pay her former husband some $18,000 per month!
When taken in the context of reviewing the statutory and legal factors for alimony, none of this should be shocking. In the past, woman have given up careers, raised children while their husband worked, and at the time of the divorce were often left in a terribly precarious financial circumstance with a very questionable financial future. Even those woman who had a career and earned a reasonable amount of money had to be looked at in comparison to what their husband's earned and the lifestyle they led. Nothing is different for men. The big question is, are men too embarrassed to be stuck with the stigma of taking money from their former wives. The resounding answer is...NO!
When competent divorce counsel reviews the financial circumstances of both parties and the history of the marriage, men seem to have little difficulty in accepting the possibility of their being entitled to receiving alimony and I as a practitioner for thirty five years have rarely seen any man use "pride" as a reason to forego support. It is therefore important to look at all of the assets of the marriage and the history.
For woman, it is critical for woman who have significant careers outside of the house. It is highly critical for the conversation between them and their divorce counsel to include discussions of potential liability for alimony to their husbands. Only experienced and competent matrimonial specialist can answer these questions.
However, the new reality is upon us in the divorce field. When looked at in the historical context, it is nothing new. When looked at in the context of how our society has changed, it is probably the best example of all of how many woman have progressed financially and professionally over the years.
Richard C. Klein, Esquire
Chair, Family Law Department
Spector Gadon & Rosen, P.C.
1000 Lenola Road, P.O. Box 1001
Moorestown, NJ 08057
(856) 778-8100; Fax: (856) 722-5344
E-mail: rklein@lawsgr.com
www.lawsgr.com
www.richardckleinlaw.com
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